Sunday, December 5, 2010

More Translations!

A few more translations from this week...

"Let's play Monockly! I'm gonna win ALL the money!"... Monopoly

"I like biscuits, but not the grabey."... gravy

Then, this morning he was rubbing his face and said "I have rocks in my eyes! They're like little baby rocks!" Guess the Sandman left him ROCKS! LOL!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Cute Little Dog

We pulled into a parking spot at Food Lion.

My son looks over at the car parked 2 spots over and exclaims "Look at the cute little dog!"

I look over and say "Where?"

He replies "Never mind. It was just a people's hair!"

I look back over and there are 2 ladies with big, blonde, 80's hair!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Utility Pirates?

On our way to Food Lion this morning, we passed several utility workers using post-hole diggers and a back-hoe to dig up a hole for the new street lights they are installing in our neighborhood.

My son exclaims "Those guys were at my school yesterday!"

I replied, "Oh yeah? What are they doing?"

He responds "Digging for treasure!"

Sunday, November 7, 2010

More Translations

A few more translations that I've remembered...

"I want some nyo-gurt Mommy!"... yogurt
"That's not for kids - that's for grow-ups!"... grown-ups
"I'm going to put my drink in my cup-colder!"... cup holder
"We did that lasterday!"... yesterday
"I'm ost-most done!"... almost
"I don't like yun-yuns!"... onions
"My feet are cold. Can you get me my flips?"... slippers
"There's a magnick in there!"... magnet

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Music to my Ears?

"Mom"

"What?"

"Mah-om"

"What?"

"Mahhhhhhhhh-om"

"What?!?"

"I'm just singing!"

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Damn Commercials

"Mommy, I want a magic book - you can get the chicken, and the milk, and the apples."

"Honey, I don't have a magic book."

"They have it at McDonald's!"

Sunday, September 5, 2010

No Bones About It!

My son likes to sit on my lap, and he's always bruising me with his bony head, elbows, knees, etc!!

Today, I told him that his bones were hurting me. I even pulled up a picture of a skeleton on the computer to show him that we all have bones inside. His response was "Nu-uh! I don't have bones! Only dinosaurs have bones!"

I replied "Honey, you have bones, the dog has bones, the cat has bones..."

He said "Yes, dogs have bones, kitties have bones, and dinosaurs have bones. That's it! I don't have bones!"

I said "Then how do you walk?"

He replied "With my feet!!"

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Translation, Please!

My son is pretty articulate for a four-year-old, but there are some things he still flubs up. Some are common, some I have mentioned before, others are just too darn cute - especially when used in a sentence!

"Can we see the Ephalents?".... Elephants
"Mommy, I need some Jealous for my mohawk!".... (Hair) Gel
"Look at the Ell-eh-clockeler!".... Helicopter
"Ju-Ju's are my favorite snack!".... Fruit Snacks (I think when he was a baby we may have called them Fruit Chews, and he still calls them that)
"My teacher used the Snapper Thingie to put in the Snaps."... Stapler/Staples
"Can you change the channel? I'll get you the Mote".... Remote
"Can I have more of the Squishy Bread Stuff?".... Stuffing
"Mom, does this bottle go in the trash or Cycle?".... Recycling (Bin)
"I can carry it. I'm strong! Look at my Muskulls!".... Muscles
"We're having Meatlope for supper.".... Meatloaf
"Phew - I'm all Schweatty!".... Sweaty
"I want to push the button in the Alligator!".... Elevator

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Smokestack Bacon

On our drive home from a wedding this week, we passed several buildings with smoke stacks. As we drove by one:

"Mom - they're cooking in there."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yep - they're cooking bacon."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, it's not a fire because the smoke isn't black, it's white. They are cooking bacon and some cheese."

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Ever seen a Leel-eh-clockeler?

We were home the day that President Obama was inaugurated and as we watched former President Bush and his wife fly away in a helicopter, I captured my son on video, calling it a leel-eh-clockeler. It's a little dark, so I do apologize, but you can hear him, and that's the cute part!

video

Over a year-and-a-half later, he still calls a helicopter a "ell-eh-clockeler"! He's a little closer, but just as cute!!

Friday, July 30, 2010

I'm so.... Busy?

Our nightly family show (when it's on) is America's Funniest Videos. I get worried sometimes when my son decides he wants to enact some of the craziness!

It's gotten to where he can predict what is going to happen. The other night a guy was swinging from a tree on a rope and he said "He's going to break the fence." Sure enough, the guy swung out too far and fell off the rope into the fence, even though we had never seen that clip!

But the funniest was tonight when two men were inside a big tractor tire and going to roll down a hill.

"They're going to get busy!" My husband and I both start cracking up!
Then hubby tries to correct him and says "No, they're dizzy!"
Our son responds, rather emphatically, "No, Daddy, they're getting busy!!"

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

How old is Grandpa?

At the dinner table we discussed that today is Grandpa's birthday.

"How old do you think Grandpa is?"

"I don't know... 4?" (everybody is 4 in his book - even me!)

"No, he's 65!"

My son's eyes get as wide as saucers as he replies "Oh Man!"

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

It's a Pillow...

Anyone with a child of television-watching age has seen the commercial for the Pillow Pets. "It's a pillow, it's a pet, it's a pillow pet!"

"Mommy I want one of those."

"Those are only for good children." (He's been testing my patience lately).

Without missing a beat he replies "And travel!"

My husband and I both bust out laughing, and just as we do the commercial continues "Great for travel"...

To which my son replies, "See, I told ya!"

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Mohawk

"Mommy, can I have my hair like a mohawk?"

"Sure honey."

"Yay! I'll get the jealous!" [what he calls 'gel']

Then later....

"Look, Daddy! My hair is getting bigger!"

Interview with My Son, Age 4

This is just one of those silly surveys found on Social Networking sites. These were my son's responses last night:

1. What is something mommy always says to you?
"Don't eat snacks" - then he had to explain "When we don't eat our supper you say don't eat snacks"

2. What makes mommy happy?
"I be happy like you"

3. What makes mommy sad?
"When I not poop in the potty, you get mad then I make you sad"

4. What makes your mommy laugh?
"Daddy"

5. What was your mommy like as a child?
"You just get smaller and smaller like that [envision him squatting down] like a baby and you rode on that little slide [points out the window] like me"

6. How old is your mommy?
"Now you're 4... I'm 4, and you're 4 too"

7. How tall is your mommy?
"Watch [he runs his hand from my toes to my head] - like that big"

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
"To play with me"

9. What does your mommy do when you're not here?
"Go to work, and then I cry at my new school, and then when I cry at my new school and then you pick me up"

10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
"You get famous when you go in town, then we don't go in town, and we don't get tickets and wear like a cowboy hat"

11. What is your mommy really good at?
"You do well with those pictures and then that picture over there and then those black things in the big squares [shadow boxes]"

12. What is your mommy not very good at?
"Don't do good on a big tractor"

13. What does your mommy do for a job?
"Eat some stuff. You bring that big pan, and those gloves, and the party was there." - guess he's referring to Pampered Chef!

14. What is your mommy's favorite food?
"Turkey" - um, I like it but it's not my favorite!

15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
"Making an orange thing like an ice cube" - we put Juice Pouches in the freezer

16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
"A clown" - really?

17. What do you and your mommy do together?
"We get my lighthouse, then we go to grandma's house, then you come to my store. And we got some new silly bands, too"

18. How are you and your mommy the same?
"We're the same like these pictures [he pointed to the "Family" needlepoint I did] and we live together"

19. How are you and your mommy different?
"I'm like small and you're like bigger"

20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
"You just go to the park with me"

21. What does your mommy like most about your daddy?
"When you find some yucky bugs, and when you play guitars"

22. Where is your mommy's favorite place to go?
"To the park"

Full?

Last weekend we were enjoying some fresh-baked Sugar Cookies. Here is the conversation that occurred:

"Mommy, do you want some more?"

"No thank you. I'm full."

"Of shit?"

You know it's hard NOT to laugh, but it gets better.

Later, he started rubbing his tummy (envision the iCarly episode when her grandfather wants to move her to Yakuma) and exclaims "I am so full of shit!"