Thursday, December 22, 2011

12 Days of Christmas (well, 5...)

On the Fifth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

5 Golden Reeeengs!

4 Calling Birds

3 Prench Hens

2 Turtle Dougs

And a Pear-tridgin'in a Pear Tree!!!

Thursday, August 25, 2011


We are planning a trip to the zoo. My son tells me "They have plants at the zoo. Plants with big pokeys. The plants with big pokeys are from Taxes."

I respond "Oh yeah? What do you know about Texas?"

"Taxes is a place where they have horses!" and he starts jumping around on all fours like a horse.

"Their called Cactus."

"No mom, it's Taxes!"

"Yes, but the plants are called Cactus. Where did you hear about Texas?"

"I thought about it... in my brain!"

"Oh - did you maybe hear about it on TV? Like Sandy - on Spongebob?"

"Yeah! She rides on a bullfrog! And they go hop, hop, hop!"

Who said television wasn't educational? LOL!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Chasing Ambulances

As we were driving down the road, an ambulance was approaching. My son exclaims "Mommy! An ALIENANCE!!!"

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Ass Fart?

My son and husband mowed the lawn this weekend. At the dinner table, my son was telling me about driving around the "Mint". My husband nodded, apparently understanding what I did not. I thought maybe they had found a patch in the yard, though I was doubtful!

As the conversation progressed, my husband finally corrected him - he was trying to say Cement.

Then the conversation got really silly:

"What do you call cement that's black?"

"Um, T-mint, B-mint, P-mint?"

I thought maybe he was going for "Pavement" when he says...

"No, ass fart!"

I tried so hard not to laugh... as he tried to say Asphalt!!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


"Mommy, what are we having for dinner?"


"When we go to the pizza shop, can we go to the pet store. We should get a pet at the pet store. How about that? How about a bunny?"

"A bunny?

"Yeah. He can live in a cage and then we can take him out and play with him."

"Where will he poop?"


"But if he goes outside, he'll run away and go into the woods with the other bunnies."

"Nu-uh. We can open the door just a little bit and he can poop on the step and the wind can blow it away."

"I don't think that will work."

"Yeah-huh... or maybe a fish? We can put him in a tank. Fish don't poop."

"Honey, everybody poops."

"Fish poop in their tank?"


"How about 2 fish? Can I get 2 fish... PLEASE??"

"Maybe after we go on vacation." (I'm thinking either he'll forget, or he'll end up winning one at the fair this summer anyway)

"Are fish strong? (as he has his hands cupped together) Could they open my hand?"

"Well, fish are slippery. And you wouldn't hold them anyway."

"Well, I can just hold them quick and put them in their tank."

"If we get fish, they will be in a bag with water."

"Oh!! OK!!"

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Huge Mess

My son and I went to Virginia Beach for the weekend and stopped at an Exxon in the middle of nowhere because he had to pee. We quickly ran inside, and I did notice that it was chilly - but it was cold outside, too. I also thought it smelled of stale beer, but didn't pay too much attention as my son was doing the potty dance!

After we got out of the bathroom, we decided to grab a snack. We walked down one of the 2 aisles in the place, only to realize that the corner of it was blocked off, the beer cooler door was smashed, there were broken bottles on the floor, and the walls had apparently been pushed in from the outside.

My son looks at the damage in front of him and says "Whoa! I did NOT make that mess!"

After we got outside, I looked over at the far right corner of the building, which was taped off with yellow caution tape. Cinder blocks were broken and the insulation from the beer coolers was exposed. Somebody must have missed their turn the night before!!

When we drove back through the next day, it was all covered up with plywood.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Bee-ing Silly

On our way to pre-school yesterday, my son tells me that a classmate got stung by a bee. He then tells me that where the other boy got stung, it was all bumpy.

I asked him if he had ever gotten stung (to my knowledge, he has not). He told me that he had and that "it burned". So, I prodded for details.

"I was at the park and barefoot. A bee flew out of the ocean and said 'Mmm.... feet' and then he stung me!"

Apparently, bees like feet!!!!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

I See That Twinkle in Your Eye!

So, I was telling my son that maybe we'd go "someplace new" next weekend (I'm thinking of the Science Museum) then go to "my friend's house so I can cook and [he] can play with her kids".

He says "What are their names?"

I say "You know my friend 'Ms. C' I talk to on the phone? She has two daughters." And I told him their names.

I have to tell you - his little face lit up and he this little smirk on his face! I started laughing and said "I see that twinkle in your eye!"

He says "What twinkle?"

I replied "You got all smiley, you little flirt! You like to flirt with girls?"

He says "Yeah, I just like to play with girls."

He's only 4½ - If this is a sign of things to come, we're in big trouble!!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


My son ate a pretty good dinner - an entire manicotti, including the spinach, which is awesome for him. He barely gets out of the chair and asks for a snack. We tell him "Later".

About 10 minutes later he says "Can I have a snack now? [My dinner is] down in my legs!"

African Animals

We were watching “Equator: Challenge of Change” on the Science Channel. My son and husband both like to watch the animals – especially lions, “giraffeses”, and “ephalents”!

There were several amusing comments that my son made during the program. Here are some of them!

A cheetah was chasing a gazelle. After the narrator commented about the cheetah, my son exclaims, “Did he say ‘Cheet-ohs’?!?!”

A hunting party of lionesses chased down a wildebeest. While they were enjoying the spoils of their hunt, my son says, “That looks like chicken! Bloody chicken!”

After the kill, the male lion marked his territory around the perimeter. I was afraid when “He’s got the biggest [unintelligible]” was mumbled by my son. After asking him for clarification, he says “He’s got the biggest roar!”