Boots and Cats and a Beefy Bison

My son has been sick, and maybe a little delusional!  Maybe we just watch Boots and Cats a little too often...

We were sitting on the couch Thursday night when he says he has a joke to tell us.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Erupting cow

Erupting cow...

MOOOOO!!!!!!

Turns out he meant interrupting cow, but it was still funny!!  Maybe a beefy bison!?!  (If you don't get the reference, you haven't watched Boots and Cats yet...)

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Later Thursday night, he woke up still running a fever and coughing terribly.  The poor kid laid on the floor of the bathroom, miserable.  I was trying to get him to sit up to take some cough medicine.  He was holding his head, obviously in pain.

Mommy!  It feels like there are cats trying to claw out of my head!

I know - not funny.  But I had to turn my head and look at my husband in the doorway who was trying not to laugh himself.

We finally got him to take the medicine - which he promptly threw up. :( 

After we got him changed into clean jammies my husband asked him if his head still hurt.  He said no, to which my husband replied "Guess you got the cat's out."

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Friday morning, I debated which shoes to wear to work.  I opted for a pair of fuzzy slip-on boots, but had 2 pair of knee-high boots still in the entryway I had considered.  Apparently my son had never seen them before. 

Wow Dad!  Whose boots are these?

Mommy's

Wow - they must go up to her head!

My dear husband had to text me to let me know.  I almost died from laughter.  To boot, he then texted "I'm not the only one who notices your short stature."

Gee - thanks guys!  Love you too! :)

Colorblind



My son takes Tae Kwon Do classes.  He likes to show off his pictures and videos to anyone who will look at them!  He was sharing them with his cousins last week.  Most of them include just him and the only other boy in his class who is at the same belt level, like the one below.

 

 

What I found amusing is that when he was showing them, he would always point himself out and say which one was him... even though anyone looking should know what he looks like - not to mention that he is about a foot shorter than the other boy and a different race.  He would also point to the other boy and say "That's not me. That's [name of the boy]."  Never once, to my delight, did he ever say "He's black" or anything related to his race.

 

I recall a few years ago when the topic of race came up.  At the time, he had 2 friends with the same name.  One was black and one was white.  So, when I asked to which one he was referring, he was confused when I mentioned them by their race.  I don't remember exactly how he phrased it, but basically his response was "he's not white, he's brownish".  Yes - he was referring to the white boy, and himself, to not actually being white.  In his eyes, white is like snow - and that is not what color we are.  So that day, I learned the lesson - and make sure when speaking to him about people I refer to characteristics other than the color of their skin.

A friend recently posted a link to this video on Facebook, which prompted this post.  I have to be honest, I never even paid attention that the family was bi-racial.  Kudos to Cheerios for making a cute commercial - and for going "outside the box" in more ways than one!  Just like my son and the children in this video, I hope that someday we can all be colorblind!

Get a Life

(A commercial for the movie Turbo was on the television.)

Everybody has a life, right?

Sure.

Everyone has a life.  That snail doesn't know that he has a life!

Ah.... get a life!  LOL!

It's Snowing!

Come look out the window!  It's really snowing now!

Yes it is!  It's like a blister out there!

What I Like

Profound words from a 6-year-old:

I like everything, except the things I don't like!

And the best quote of the day:

Daddy!  The lights look like ASS-scicles!

Gel

Bubba likes to have his hair spiked.  Yesterday, I got out a new tube of Spiking Glue (yes, that's what it's really called!) and put his hair in a nice "feaux"-hawk.

Last night at the Book Fair, his teacher came up to me and said that she got the biggest kick out of him - saying that his mom has put JELL-O in his hair!  She said that the teacher's aide almost spit out her coffee when he said it!

I then had to tell her that he used to call it JEALOUS!  She found that amusing as well!  She then responded "That's why I LOVE teaching First Grade!"

I Can't

My husband replies to my son: I can't do that.

Why not?

Because Mommy said so.

You're bigger than Mommy.  You can do whatever you want!

Lip Allergy

Have you ever had a lip allergy?

A what?

A lip allergy?

Are you asking if I'm allergic to lips?

No!

Well then what is a lip allergy?

When you eat and can't let anything touch your lips.

Who has a lip allergy?

Nobody.

Well then how did you hear about it?

I didn't.  I just thought about it in my brain.

Red Hair

We try to teach our children to be polite, but sometimes they just blurt things out - in his case, out of awe and admiration - without realizing they could have offended someone.  Such is the case this week while we were walking out of Target.  I think I made a pretty good recovery, and his response cracked me up!

A young woman, probably in her 20s, was walking out of the store in front of us.  Her hair was "two-tone", not outrageous and similar to this:

Mommy - that girl has red AND black hair!  I've never seen THAT before!

I know!  That's pretty cool, huh?

Yeah! 

Mommy used to have red hair!  Did you know that?

Really?  I want red and GREEN hair!

Only in Oz

We're watching Cartoon Network and there is a Tom & Jerry marathon going on.  Their version of The Wizard of Oz came on and I said "Oh, cool!  The Wizard of Oz!"

My son must not know the story - although I know I've had it on before and he has watched it - because he innocently asks "What is the Lizard of Oz?"

Goulash

The goulash is served!

"OK" responds my husband.

It has noodles!

"Oh yeah? Is that the 'goo'?"

No, that's the 'losh'. The 'goo' is the cheese!

So Fresh and So Clean Clean

My son was taking a bath and wanted to use his Daddy's Irish Spring soap. He likes the scent.

After lathering him up he says to me:

When I get back to school, I'm going to take my shirt off because I smell so good!

Thank you Axe commercials.... Ugh!!

21 Cents

Yesterday, we were in Target looking for a toy for my son. He has had 2 weeks worth of "green" days, so we told him he could get something. He was looking at bigger toys (of course), but told him they were too big, cost too much, etc. We ended up agreeing on a Hot Wheels Dinosaur track with a car.

On our way out, my son found a dime and a penny out in the parking lot.

Wow! Somebody must have had a hole in their pocket!

He had another dime in the car, for a total of 21¢. We counted out how much it was worth and I didn't think much more of it.

This afternoon, he hands me the 21¢.

Here, Mommy, you have it.

"Baby, I don't need your money. Put it with the rest of your money."

Yes, you do. You need it to buy me a big monster truck.

I just gave him a big hug.

Rhymes with "HOT"

Working on homework tonight, my kindergartner had to figure out words that rhymed with "HOT".

"I am a small mark."

Dot!!

"I am a pan for cooking. Or what flowers grow in."

Pot!!

"I am a little bed."

My husband chimes in "K", giving him a hint.

Cot!!

Then hubby asks "Do you even know what a cot is?"

Yeah! It's like the stuffing inside of stuff!

"No, honey, that's COTTON!"

Previdents

Today we learned about Abraham Lincoln!

Oh yeah? What about him?

This guy snuck up behind him and shot him in the head and he died.

Who was Abraham Lincoln?

He was one of our previdents.

What does it mean to be a president?

It means he is the boss of us. He teaches everybody, like ya'all and me, and grandma, and grandpa.


Teach us well Mr. Prevident!

Pirate School

I received a new friend request on Facebook yesterday, accepted, and did my usual - went straight to the pictures! As I was scrolling through images of my friend and his family, my son plops down next to me on the couch and looks along with me, usually wanting me to open up pictures of kids - especially if they're pretty girls!

Mommy, is that when you were in college?

I have never discussed college with him that I can recall, so I respond "What do you know about college?"

College is you go and they like tell you what to do.

"Well, not quite honey. College is school. You go to elementary school, then middle school, then high school, then college. And if you need to, you go to more school. Like, you want to be a pilot, so you would go to pilot school after."

But the pirate school is in North Carolina! (When we lived in NC, the local high school's mascot was a Pirate...)

"Not pirate, pilot! You want to be a pilot, right?"

Oh, yeah! I though you said pirate!

Are there Embry-Riddle Pirates?!?!? :^)

B... U... T...

When I came home from work yesterday, my son greeted me in his typical manner...

Mommy, I had a green day! Mommy, we did jump rope again! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

After I got him to breathe, he told me he had new words to learn, and he pulled out the strip of green paper with his weekly words:

with ---- not ---- but

Then he proceeded to sound out the words...

www... ih... th... with!

nnn... aw... t... not!

b... uh... t... that's but! And it's like but (gestering in a "however" fashion with his hands - looking like a little politician) not butt (pointing to his derriere)!

Glad we got that cleared up!!

Sorry - No Idol!

We were watching American Idol, I asked my son if he was ever going to be on the show.

He replied "No, I'm going to be a pilot!"

My husband asked him "You don't want to play the guitar and sing?"

He replied "Well, yeah, but just at home."

Then, he adds "Yeah, I'm going to be a pilot. And you can't eat before you fly a plane because you could have a sick tummy."

Love my silly boy :) I sure hope he doesn't skip meals just so he can fly!

12 Days of Christmas (well, 5...)

On the Fifth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

5 Golden Reeeengs!

4 Calling Birds

3 Prench Hens

2 Turtle Dougs

And a Pear-tridgin'in a Pear Tree!!!

Taxes

We are planning a trip to the zoo. My son tells me "They have plants at the zoo. Plants with big pokeys. The plants with big pokeys are from Taxes."

I respond "Oh yeah? What do you know about Texas?"

"Taxes is a place where they have horses!" and he starts jumping around on all fours like a horse.

"Their called Cactus."

"No mom, it's Taxes!"

"Yes, but the plants are called Cactus. Where did you hear about Texas?"

"I thought about it... in my brain!"

"Oh - did you maybe hear about it on TV? Like Sandy - on Spongebob?"

"Yeah! She rides on a bullfrog! And they go hop, hop, hop!"

Who said television wasn't educational? LOL!